Here’s 8 Signs That He Loves The Other Woman
Written by: alexanoelle
Are you in a committed relationship and deeply in love with your man, but you have reasons to believe there might be another woman in his life? Are you concerned that she might even be more than a side fling and that there is a chance he may actually be in love with her? In this article, I’ll discuss 8 signs that he loves the other woman.
First, know that you are not alone. Even though you may feel scared and isolated, this, unfortunately, is a problem that plagues countless relationships. While the uncertainty and suspicion is painful in and of itself, there are warning signs to look for that may give you a better sense of whether your hunch is correct, or whether you might be able to lay those red flags to rest.
1. He Gets Defensive Easily
Nothing creates a guilty conscience like infidelity, and when a man has something he feels he needs to hide, even the most innocent questions will seem to him like accusations, and he will instinctively rail against them.
You might try asking him simple questions to see how he responds, for example:
What are your plans tonight after work?
Which friends did you go to the game with?
Why have you been working late so much in the last few weeks?
You’ll want to make sure not to ask these things in an accusatory tone, and instead be sure to come off as curious and conversational – you’re just asking him about the minor details of his day. A man with nothing to hide will approach these questions openly and honestly. A man with a guilty conscience, on the other hand, will think you must be onto something and might respond in an irritated or aggressive manner.
2. His Friends Start Acting Differently Toward You
As much as it hurts to think about it, there is a possibility that his friends may know more than you do about his personal life. If your man is involved in an affair, be it physical or emotional, there is a chance that he has confided in close friends in moments of confusion. In some situations, his friends may have even met the other woman in your man’s life.
Though his friends are loyal to him and cannot tell you directly that something is amiss, they are only human, and they may begin to feel guilty when you are around because they want to spare you the pain you’re in but fear to betray their friend. If this is the case, you may be able to pick up on subtle hints in their behavior. For example, if a friend of his who you once hit it off with now seems awkward around you, this could be a clue. Or if a friend who was standoffish and distant before suddenly comes off as being overly sympathetic and gentle, this could also be a tell.
Generally speaking, keep an eye on your interactions with his friends if you suspect he might love the other woman. Though they most likely will not share their knowledge with you directly, they may do so inadvertently through their behavior.
3. He Mentions Her Name
At first, this may sound silly – why would he mention the name of someone whose identity he’s trying to hide? But when you love someone, you think of them often and the thought of them makes you feel happy and excited. You almost can’t help but bring them up in conversations with others. He won’t mention her to you as “the girl he’s in love with,” but if for example, she is a coworker, he might mention her name as part of an event that happened at work that day. It will seem innocent because of her involvement in the story.
If she is part of a friend group he is in, or perhaps someone else’s significant other, he might drop her name in the context of a story about his friends. It will seem harmless to him, and if he loves her he won’t be able to help to mention her every once in a while.
4. He’s Been Dressing Differently
It’s not uncommon for women to express their opinions about their man’s style and wardrobe, and if he’s in love, he will want to appear attractive to the object of his affection. The other woman in his life has probably complemented certain outfits or styles that he’s worn around her, and he’s going to be motivated to wear more of whatever she likes.
If he’s a guy that always wore jeans and t-shirts, but suddenly his closet is full of new khakis and button-downs, it’s possible that the other woman loves the preppy look.
The same rule goes for colognes, hairstyles, and other areas of his outward appearance. Maybe he used to hate facial hair and always had a clean shave, but lately, he’s been sporting a goatee. Or perhaps he is wearing a different scent or has been cutting or styling his hair differently.
Now before you get carried away, not every change in personal style is indicative of an affair. People choose to upgrade their style for a number of reasons, and this sign by itself does not necessarily mean anything is wrong. But if his new look seems particularly out of character, or if it is combined with the other clues on this list, then it might be a red flag.
5. He Freaks Out If You Look At His Phone
Try picking up his phone to take a selfie of the two of you, or to Google that new restaurant you guys have been talking about. Your intentions are innocent, and a guy with a clear conscience (and a blameless text history) would not be shaken by you looking at his phone for a legitimate reason.
Some guys prefer their privacy and don’t like people using their phones for valid boundary reasons, and there is nothing wrong with this. But if he looks panic-stricken at the idea of you reaching for his cell, this could indicate that there’s something he doesn’t want you to see.
6. He Stops Initiating Romance
As difficult as this is to think about, if you’re noticing that he’s stopped initiating romance with you, then there is a pretty fair chance he’s getting that need fulfilled somewhere else.
Most people in relationships have a desire for intimacy and want to be close to the person they are with. If you’re seeing a noticeable drop in his affection toward you, or in his desire for initiating intimacy with you, then there is a good chance he’s getting that need met somewhere else.
It is not uncommon for men to feel less attracted to their significant other when they have a love interest on the side. Love and attraction are typically directed to one person primarily, so if you’ve noticed a decline in the physical spark behind your relationship, this is a major red flag that something might be going on and that his heart is somewhere else.
7. He Wants Extreme Privacy
Everyone needs a reasonable amount of privacy, and boundaries are important, even in healthy and loving relationships. But the keyword here is “reasonable.” If he is exhibiting a need for privacy that seems over the top, and that feels as though it is bordering on secrecy, there may be something deeper at play than just healthy boundaries.
While some degree of privacy is a standard expectation in relationships, if he is shutting you out, refusing to spend time together, locking himself in rooms, or being overprotective of his devices, he might be trying to hide something from you.
8. He’s Making Excuses
Has he been giving you lame excuses for why he’s late or unavailable? Everyone is busy from time to time, and things happen in life that will occasionally make people run late, but if it’s happening consistently and, more importantly, if he’s covering up his absences with lame excuses, it can raise some red flags about his honesty.
If he’s been seeing someone else on the side, chances are his reasons for being late or unavailable would seem tacky or unsubstantiated. And if he always sounds rushed or panicked when he explains his whereabouts, you can probably rest assured that he has something – or someone – to hide.
Overall, it is unfortunately not all that uncommon for a partner to be unfaithful in the modern relationship scene. But what’s worse is when it’s more than just a fling, and he actually falls in love with the other woman.
As much as the truth may hurt, it can be a good thing that there are ways to tell when his heart is with someone else so that you can get out of that relationship and find someone worthy of your love and attention. The sooner you can weed out an unfaithful relationship, the better because that means moving on more quickly and less time ultimately wasted.
If your man is guilty of several of these signs and your warning detectors are blinking out of control, it might be time to cut your losses and find yourself a more deserving partner. In the end, it will be worth it.