The Power Of Walking Away From A Man
Written by: alexanoelle
Men are interesting creatures – when they’re interested in a woman, they ignore her. When she plays hard to get, they get motivated to pursue her. And when you decide to walk away, the effects can be extremely powerful – perhaps more powerful than you even realized. It can be difficult if not impossible to get inside the head of a man, but thankfully you don’t have to work that hard. Curious about the power of walking away from a man? You’ve come to the right place.
WHY WALK AWAY?
First of all, let’s spend some time discussing why you might decide to walk away from your man in the first place. There are lots of reasons someone might have to feel frustrated in a relationship – even frustrated enough to back off or leave. So what are some of the reasons you might be thinking about walking away, and what do these reasons mean?
He Seems to Be Losing Interest
When you’re in a relationship and suddenly your man starts to get distant, it is natural to wonder if he might be losing interest in you. This can be a scary situation, and very delicate to manage. Maybe he’s not the best communicator, or maybe he gets quiet when he’s stressed and it comes off as being distant. Or maybe he really is losing interest or has been taking interest in someone else. If you’re in a gray area and your situation sounds something like this, walking away might be the wake-up call he needs. More on that in a bit.
He Was Never That Into You
It is possible that his level of interest has not reached the same level yours has, and he is feeling smothered by your attention. Perhaps he isn’t answering your texts because he’s still working out his degree of commitment, or doesn’t take your calls because he feels you’re coming off as too needy. If this sounds like your situation, don’t worry. Walking away can be the impetus that sparks greater interest because it will allow him the opportunity to see what life would look like without you – and hopefully he doesn’t like that the picture at all!
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WALK AWAY?
Walking away can produce a number of different effects, and the key is knowing that no matter what you end up learning about your relationship from walking away, you are better off for knowing the truth, even if the answer isn’t what you hoped it would be. If walking away results in your man coming back to you and deciding to commit and go all in, then that is a great thing. However, if he does not come running after you as you had imagined, this is also powerful knowledge. If this is what happens, you will know that you would never have been able to force his love and attention, and you can focus your energies toward finding someone more deserving of all you have to offer. Here are some of the things that may result from your powerful move when you decide to walk away:
1- He Chases You Back
Having a woman walk away can send a powerful message to a man that he has not been trying hard enough, and has not been putting enough effort toward keeping the heart of his beloved. If your man truly cares about you and the relationship you’ve built, your decision to walk away will make him instantly feel like he is missing something vital. He will come after you. He will want to know why you left. And, most importantly, he will want to know what he can do to make sure it never happens again.
If this happens, this is your time to communicate openly about the problems you’ve been having with the relationship that led to you walking away. He is all ears now, and you should be honest without being uncharitable. Gently but firmly tell him what it was that made you feel unloved or underappreciated, and give him concrete suggestions for how to fix it. Men love concrete suggestions – they are not abstract creatures. Be direct, in a loving way. He wants to do better and is asking you to clarify your needs. If your man reacts this way to you walking away, you should feel very good about your relationship, because you will have learned that he cares about you and about making you happy.
2- His Respect for You Increases
Another powerful side effect of walking away from a man is that it will make him realize your independence. So many men fall into the habit of thinking their women need them and cannot survive without them. While some women may revolve their identity around the man they’re with, this is not you! You are a strong woman, and when you walk away, he will realize that you value your own needs and that you are not willing to settle for less than what you deserve.
Men crave a challenge, and they want something to live up to. When you demonstrate that you are worthy of love and respect and that you’re not just going to follow him around like a puppy waiting for him to give you some attention, he will realize that he needs to live up to the high standard of the kind of man you are willing to be with. He will rise or fall to the level that you teach him is acceptable. If your behavior shows him that you’re going to stick around no matter how poorly he treats you, then you can guess how he’s going to treat you. But if you show him that you are not willing to settle for anything less than his best and that you’re even willing to walk away if he’s not living up to your expectations, he will know he needs to rise to the occasion if he wants to be with you. It is hard to muster respect for a clingy, needy partner who will accept any type of treatment. But that’s not who you are, and he needs to know that.
3- It Triggers Fear and Possessiveness
Not every man reacts heroically when he realizes he has lost something he values, or even just something he has gotten used to. Many people have had traumatic experiences that result in a deep-seated fear of abandonment. When you walk away, it may trigger surprising reactions depending on his character and his past.
If you walk away from your man and he responds in a way that is unhealthy – for example, threatening you, stalking you, or getting violent or abusive (including verbal and emotional abuse, not only physical) – first of all, make sure you are protected. Do whatever you need to do to make sure he cannot hurt you or those you care about. Get help. Stay with a friend. If it gets extremely serious, you might even need to report him to the police. Your first priority is to make sure that you are safe and that he cannot harm you.
After you know you’re safe, rest assured that you have dodged a bullet. This is not a man with whom you want to be in a committed relationship – or any type of relationship, for that matter. He is dangerous and his coping mechanisms are unhealthy. He has lots of healing to do before he will be capable of authentic love. Take comfort in knowing that you have seen his true colors and are now able to make an educated decision that this guy is definitely not for you and that something better is out there waiting.
4- He Doesn’t Seem to Care
There is a range of reactions a man can have after being walked away from, and unfortunately, one of those reactions is that it may not seem to make that much of a difference to him. While this will feel extremely disappointing at the time, there is also a silver lining to this situation, and an important benefit. If days or weeks have passed since you walked away and he didn’t even seem to notice or care, then you
were in a one-sided relationship. Your feelings were much more advanced than his, and his head was simply not in the game. This can be extremely difficult to accept. It can even be heartbreaking, depending on how long you were together or how much of yourself you had invested in him. Take some time to do whatever you need to accept the disappointment and heartbreak – spend time with friends, treat yourself to something you wanted, etc. Do some intentional self-care, whatever that may look like for you.
As you’re taking care of yourself, remember this: you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, who is as committed to the relationship as you are, and who is going to put in the effort to make you feel appreciated. If you walked away and your man did not come chasing after you, then there is someone else out there who is going to make you so much happier than this guy ever could have. Relationships are not meant to be one-sided, and you can rest assured that something better is out there. Now that you figured out the truth about your relationship, you can stop wasting time on this guy, and focus on finding the incredible relationship that is meant for you.
Walking away from a man is a bold and powerful move that can produce a wide range of results. He may realize what he’s lost and chase you back, he may gain respect for you, he may freak out in a completely unhealthy way, or he may not even notice what has happened. Regardless of his reaction, though, you have gained valuable information when it comes to how you should proceed. Whether you end up moving forward with your current relationship or searching for a new one, you can rest assured that the truth you’ve uncovered has already brought you closer to the relationship you’ve been waiting for.